Yellow Pages: Get Over It

Yellow Pages: Get Over It

Did you honestly think, in a world of digital books, Internet atMcDonald’s, and the decline of landline phones, your product would never become obsolete?

In a move worthy of Kanye West, Charlie Sheen, or any equally whiny grown person who isn’t getting his or her own way, Yellow Pages is poutily suing the city of Seattle in order to overturn a law that allows residents to opt out of receiving their stupid outdated books that nobody uses anymore. This measure is another wonderful eco-friendly law reminiscent of several laws being passed in cities across the country that this blogger in particular hopes spread to other cities, as well as states or the nation itself.

Yellow Pages isn’t being required to stop its production by any means. Instead, people are being given the freedom to opt out of receiving the monstrous books every few months. Granted, many will still want them; I know several people who don’t have the Internet at home who would still utilize them, as well as fledgling parents who use them as booster seats. But for those of us who never use the books—I think the last time I used one was when I was applying for summer jobs out of high school nearly a decade ago—they only serve as extra waste that we discard. Sure, we recycle ours, but why waste the energy and resources on making them in the first place when you’re not even going to be using them?

According to Yellow Pages, their first amendment rights are being trampled on—that they aren’t being allowed to have free speech. This is so ridiculous you can’t help but laugh. When I think of free speech rights being violated, for example, it’s usually of someone being censored; this image brings to mind the people of Yellow Pages standing on a tree stump, reading the pages out loud for all to hear.

I don’t see how this claim can stand up in court, since we can opt out of plenty of other things, too—from local papers to junk mail to catalogs. Those companies aren’t whining about their free speech being revoked. Yellow Pages is also crying foul over state commerce laws as well as citizen’s privacy laws—which, of course, is also hilarious, since if anyone’s privacy is being hurt, it’s people who A. don’t want their number listed and often still get listed anyway (such as yours truly) and B. people who don’t want junk delivered to their homes or trees cut in their names and are still subjected to such things anyway.

Yellow Pages, the decline of your product is a good thing, since your product is completely wasteful. Get over this bill, expect more like it, and move on in your digital campaigns. Localize them. Create more online resources for people to use and enjoy, as well as newsletters for subscribers to opt into. You’ll get plenty of traction that way without the mass waste production.